napkin|Paper写作句型修改技巧讲解

我们平时写作的时候都习惯把句子写的很长很长 , 其实这不一定是好事.对于Paper写作而言 , 句子并不是越长越好 , 也不是越短越好 。 下面就告诉大家几个方法 , 以此来避免在Paper写作中出现句子冗长的问题 。

napkin|Paper写作句型修改技巧讲解
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01
去除不必要的词
(Eliminate redundacies)
Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist.
修改之后:Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist.
Sylvia very hurriedly scribbled her name,address,and phone number on a greasy napkin.
修改之后:Sylvia scribbled her name,address,and phone number on a greasy napkin.因为scribble就有“匆忙”的意思 。
02
避免没有必要的重复
(Avoid unnecessary repetition of words)
【napkin|Paper写作句型修改技巧讲解】Our fifth patient,in room six,is a mentally ill patient.
修改之后:Our fifth patient,in room six,is mentally ill.
A study by the Henry J.Kaiser Family Foundation(2004)studied the effects of diet and exercise on childhood obesity.
修改之后:A study by the Henry J.Kaiser Family Foundation(2004)measured the effects of diet and exercise on childhood obesity.
03
空洞的词组不要用
(Cut empty or inflated phrases)
We are unable to provide funding at this point in time.
修改之后:We are unable to provide funding now.
以下总结了大家非常喜欢用的空洞的词组(为了凑字数 , 左边红色的) , 但其实是可以选择更加简洁漂亮的词组或者单词的(右边黑色的) , 希望大家在paper写作的时候要注意 。
along the lines of like
as a matter of fact in fact
at all times always
at the present time now,currently
at this point in time now,currently
because of the fact that because
by means of by
by virtue of the fact that because
due to the fact that because
for the purpose of for
for the reason that because
have the ability to be able to,can
in light of the fact that because
in order to
in spite of the fact that although,though
in the event that if
in the final analysis finally
in the nature of like
in the neighborhood of about
until such time as until
04
精简句型
(Simplify the structure)
如果句型不够直接 , 说话拐弯抹角 , 就要注意想想能不能换一种更加直接的结构 , 还要注意可不可以强化动词 , 大家看看下面的句子怎么修改 。 Paper写作重点分析:http://ocscf.org/news/writingskills/679.html
The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not make an estimate of the company’s future profits.
修改之后:The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not estimate the company’s future profits.
Investigators were involved in examining the effect of classical music on unborn babies.
修改之后:Investigators examined the effect of classical music on unborn babies.
There is another module that tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution.
修改之后:Another module tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution.能不用there be句型就不要用 。
05
从句变短语
短语变单词
We took a side trip to Monticello,which was the home of Thomas Jefferson.
修改之后:We took a side trip to Monticello,the home of Thomas Jefferson.非限定性定语从句变成了同位语短语 。

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