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园艺|8月28日亚太区SAT考情回顾( 二 )


我和我妈平时除了“早上好”“这是你的早饭”“你几点回家”“晚安” ， 就没什么话说了 。 我们的对话就像一个只会基本用语的外国人跟本国人说话一样 。 但我们是母女 ， 又感觉要找话说 ， 就会有点尴尬 。 一起栽花的时候 ， 就没有这种尴尬 。 此刻 ， 我蹲在她身边 ， 有很多话想跟她说 ， 又感觉说多了可能会说出些不该说的话 ， 就想还是不要冒这个险了 。
天竺葵是生命力很强的小花 。 花朵颜色亮 ， 形状简单 ， 不招摇不装腔作势 ， 但是集聚的数量多了 ， 就有种让人着迷的感觉 。 根部是暗红色的 ， 弯曲打卷 ， 我在移栽的时候有些好奇地摸这些花的根 。 在和妈妈一起移栽的三天里 ， 妈妈时不时还会哼小曲 。 小曲是我没有听过的调 ， 但曲调婉转 ， 让我心安 。 晚上我闭上眼睡觉 ， 眼前还会出现一朵大天竺葵 ， 纤细而有结的根部裸露着 ， 我赶紧找来土壤盖住它的根 。
等把所有天竺葵都栽到小盆里去以后 ， 妈妈又花了一天把这些小盆陈列好 。 陈列的时候 ， 她把一个木头架子移来移去 。 把花全都摆好以后 ， 她精疲力尽 ， 最后像获胜一样倒在沙发里休息 。 摆好以后 ， 在我们家里每转一次身都会看到天竺葵 。 你走路的时候都会感觉背后有很多天竺葵好像在看着你……你会感觉被包围了 。
Arrival Some things are impossible for the mind to hold alone. So listen, if you can, with your whole being. The story pushes and demands to be told, here, now, with you so close and the past even closer, breathing at the napes of our necks.
He arrived on the second of March, 2001, a few minutes after midnight. I was alone. I heard a low sound from the living room, a kind of scrape, like fingernails on unyielding floor—-then silence. At first I couldn’t move; I wondered whether I had left a window open, but no, I had not. I picked up the knife from the counter, still flecked with squash, and walked slowly down the hall toward the living room with the knife leading the way, thinking that if it came to fighting I’d be ready, I’d stab down to the hilt. I turned the corner and there he lay, curled up on his side, drenching the rug.
He was naked. Seaweed stuck to his wet skin, which was the color of ashes. He smelled like fish and copper and rotting apples. Nothing had moved: the sliding glass door to the backyard was closed and intact, the curtains were unruffled, and there was no damp trail where he might have walked or crawled. I could not feel my limbs, I was all wire and heat, the room crackled with danger.
“Get out,” I said.
He didn’t move.
“Get the hell out,” I said, louder this time.
He lifted his head with tremendous effort and opened his eyes. They were wide eyes that seemed to have no bottom. They stared at me, the eyes of a baby, the eyes of a boa. In that moment something in my core came apart like a ship losing its mooring, anchor dismantled, the terror of dark waters on all sides, and I found that I could not turn away.
I raised the knife and pointed it at him.
The man shuddered and his head collapsed against the floor. My instinct was to rush to his side, help him up, offer him a hot drink or an ambulance. But was he pretending, hoping I’d come closer so he could overpower me? Don’t do it. Don’t go near him. I took a step backward and waited. The man had given up on lifting his head again, and was watching me from the corners of his eyes. A minute passed. He did not blink or lunge or look away.
Finally, I said, “What do you want?”
His jaws began to work, slowly, arduously. The mouth opened and water poured out, thick and brown like the water of the river, seeping into the rug. The murky smell in the room intensified. I took another step back and pressed against the wall. It felt cool and hard and I wished it would whisper Sshhh, don’t worry, some things are solid still, but it was only a wall and had nothing to say.

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